Jane woke without her alarm at 6am, like every morning. She reached across and cuddled her penguin tightly as the realisation hit she had reached a milestone in her life that her beloved soulmate never got too. This had been coming and Jane knew after the previous weekend where she’d had a bit of a wobble, it was going to be today.
The realisation hit she was now older than Jonathan would ever be. All sorts of things started flying round inside Jane’s head and all she wanted to do was fall back asleep and drift off into her dream world. That was just not going to happen and Jane had to give herself a minute, thought about happy times and made the decision this was her day. It was no good dwelling on her thoughts or the past.
Jane grabbed her phone and put on a meditation to clear her mind. This was the way she started her day, each and every day and why should today be any different. Jane loved her meditation time and it made her smile as she pulled herself out of bed, dressed for the day and headed to the bathroom to put her contact lenses in, brushed her teeth with her left hand (non dominant) and headed downstairs.
“At least you are cosy there Bella” Jane walked across and gave her a cuddle, Bella the Springer Spaniel was snuggled up on her chair in the window.
Jane made her way to the kitchen and put on the coffee machine, Tilly the Black Labrador was going crazy to be outside, Jane wandered to the back door unlocked it and let the crazy dog out. Jane smiled as she saw her bounding out, the sun was shining and that certainly helped. The morning routine was exactly that a routine, Jane headed back made James his sandwiches and sat down to start her Gratitude, she knew this was a game changer on a daily basis, today was no different, she had flicked the switch not accepting any negative thoughts through past the bouncer in her mind.
If someone had told Jane 18 months ago that you could accept and reject the thoughts in your mind Jane would have laughed just like her two children Charlotte and James did. Today was the day she was really putting this to the test. It would have been so easy just to lie in bed all day feeling sorry for herself.
James came bounding down the stairs a spring in his step, not the usual slow wander to grab his bait bag. Then Jane was greeted by “Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Mum, Happy Birthday to you” That definitely made Jane smile as she hugged James hard.
Jane and James had their usual ten-minute chit chat and James headed off to work. Jane smiled to herself as she heard the door shut behind him, so proud of her boy, not a day gone by had he missed work or had she had to drag him out of bed, like on a school day.
Jane finished her coffee, “Today is a Good Day” Jane said to no one in particular, although the dogs took that as a que it was walkies time. “Ahhhhh well the sun is shining we’d best make the most of it” Jane smiled at them both as she pulled on her jacket and boots and headed out the door.
Lambing was nearing an end and it was lovely to see the lambs growing, jumping and running around the fields. Jane always saw lambing time as the start of the year, spring had sprung and warmer days were on the horizon. Bella and Tilly loved their walks and Jane continued to ramble to them on every walk, more so this morning she needed to let it all out. There was no point holding onto anything that was no longer useful, harsh reality, we can’t live in the past although we are programmed to do exactly that. We need to look at what is affecting our work and how we can grow into the person we want to be without the ties of our past.
Jane loved to reflect on her walks and today was no different... what do we actually mean by olden days, well memories, ours, our parents, grandparents and there’s before them, memories are precious, we sometimes do not realise how precious at the time and how much they carve our journey in life.
Jane was grateful to be out in the fresh air her thinking time, the dogs plodding along beside her or away sniffing in the rushes. Life was just hard sometimes, knowing what to do to keep everyone happy, although Jane had learnt over the past 18 months the only person you can control is yourself so why worry about what others think or want you to be.
